I had another visit to Dr. Yen on Monday for another "expansion." This last expansion was very painful so I am finished with the expansion of the left breast! Since I had to have the right expander replaced I need to have 3 more expansions of the right breast to get "even upped!" I hope that after that I won't have to be in some doctor's office every week.
It is hard to believe that it will soon be a year ago that all of this started but it will be.
I went to see my oncologist in November and it seemed a little strange to be on this side of the fence. After all, I have hair now so that tells everyone that my chemo has been completed and that I am "lucky." It's strange how I seem to divide the patients up into the different groups. There are the 'newbies" and the "in the thick of it" and the "been there done that" people and the "don't think I can do this anymore" look. So even though we all have a cancer diagnosis each and every person is unique in their own struggle....and believe it or not, sometimes their fight against cancer is the least of their worries!
A friend said to me the other day that she just doesn't know how I have stayed so positive through everything. I guess partly it is because I have seen what happens when anger and bitterness takes over and decided that I didn't want to live like that. It is a choice for me and one that I often have to remind myself of. I don't always succeed in this philosophy, but I try.
A couple of weekends ago we were at the confirmation of our grandaughter, Hunter, and the Bishop was talking to the kids about living their faith and how each of them, some more than others, will be asked to bear different crosses in life. He explained that the crosses you bear aren't usually a choice, but how you carry that cross is. He ended with a sentence that I like a lot so I will do the same and leave you with his words of wisdom and hope you find them as true as I do..."What doesn't make you bitter will make you better."

With much love and appreciation,
Merry Christmas!