I haven't posted on this blog since 2013 but awhile back someone asked me how I was doing and if everything was good. I assured them I was doing great. Afterwards, I remembered my old blog .....so I thought why not put a new entry on the dusty old thing!  
This also serves as a great way to reminder everyone (since this rainy day makes me think of fall), that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. So please mark it on your calendar and remind at least one person about the importance of exams. The number of people, I personally know, diagnosed with breast cancer over the past couple of years is staggering. The good new is the that the majority are diagnosed so much earlier than in past years which is a great thing! Nobody is exempt, male, female, young, old, rich, poor, nobody! Breast cancer (as with all traumatic life events) doesn't care where you are in life or what your plans are, it just quickly becomes the center that all other life events revolve around.  
It will soon be 7 years since my diagnosis in January of 2009 and although many components of diagnosis, treatment and care surrounding breast cancer have changed I have found one thing that hasn't.... the fact that regardless of the stage of your diagnosis, the course of your treatment,  or the potential progress of the disease, you can WIN!  Maybe not always in the way everyone hopes where the cancer is treated and is never heard of again, but in the way in which you refuse to let it become so encompassing that you stop living.  If you are facing a new diagnosis, in the middle of treatment or a survivor, don't allow cancer to turn your every thought into a worry and take the joy and living out of your days. Refuse to let it steal precious time and energy and LIVE your LIFE! 

Blessings! 
Lori

Prayers for Joanna

I'm not sure if anyone still gets notifications when I add a new post but it's worth a try...I have a friend who can use some prayers....prayers for strength and courage and grace...she has had more than her "fair share" (if there is any such thing) of grief...she has lost an infant son, she lost a teenage son to suicide, and over the past couple of years she has been fighting ovarian cancer....and she has actually been doing pretty well....until last night when the pain took her to Iowa City and they told her that her cancer has metastazied  to her lymph nodes and her liver....right now I don't know exactely where this is going to lead but I do know a couple of things....I know her well enough to know that she is not afraid to die...but I also know her well enough to know that she thinks it would be really great if she could spend a bit more time here on earth with her husband, her surviving children and her grandson.....I'm not sure what God's will is here...and I'm not going to tell people how to or what to pray for....I gave up on giving God a laundry list with my wants and "needs"  a long time ago....so I am going to ask God to give her whatever it is that she needs right now to do what she needs to do and the time in which to do it....I hope it's another 50 years.....but since I don't get to choose I pray that I am faithful enough to accept what is to come and friend enough to support her in the days, months and years ahead....will you please keep her and her family in your thoughts and in your prayers.

Update and Rumor Squelch

Just had another checkup at the University and everything came back great.  I actually get to graduate to doctor appointments every 6 months now instead of every 3!  That is a milestone and since each appointment takes several hours I am thrilled!  I do want to address a "rumor" or mis-communication that has been brought to my attention.  Apparently someone thought they heard me say that my cancer has returned.  It has not.  I think that maybe someone heard me speaking with a friend who has been diagnosed and we were sharing our experiences and it was misunderstood that I have a re-occurrence   Thank you for the concern but  if or when that happens I will let you know, family and close friends first, then a blog post. I have said from the beginning that I would prefer that the truth and the facts be known instead of rumors and mis-understandings.  With that said, I do ask your prayers for a friend who is presently enduring the process of surgery, radiation and chemo with her new breast cancer diagnosis.  I know she would appreciate it.  Take care and enjoy the Christmas season with your loved ones.

Another Year Passes...

It has been a year since I updated my blog.  I guess I didn't realize it had been so long until someone asked me about it the other day.
It most definitely feels as if fall has arrived.  I will be going back to the oncologist in October for another check up and some tests.  My hope is that after this next visit I will get to go to every 6 months instead of every 3....not everyone thinks this is a good idea, but I do since it signifies progress.
For those of you who have a long history with me, either family or friend, you know that I have had this annoying cough for only about 15 years or so.  Dr. Thomas, my oncologist, has referred me to a "cough specialist" to see if we can get to the bottom of the issue.  Oncology doesn't particularly appreciate my cough since it could mask other "issues" that might get passed off as my regular old self so I am seeing a wonderful physician at the university by the name of Dr. Fieselman.  He is recently semi-retired and is enjoying patient focused medicine versus political and administrative duties.  My cough is not yet resolved, but it is better and we are seeing "patterns" so I think we are making progress.  I enjoy visiting with him and he reminds me of Dr. Ebinger (for all of you old Ottumwa people like me).
Molly has returned from England and we are busy planning the wedding.  It has motivated me to do a lot of cleaning and organizing and I finally have my scrapbooking/craft room where everything is tidy, handy and organized.  Time is going fast and spring will be here before we know it.
It will soon be October and Breast Cancer Awareness month.  Regular self exams are important, so are mammograms, MRI's or other tests that your health care provider recommends.  Early detection is always best, and remember, not all breast cancers are easily detectable with self exam so if you think something is wrong get it checked out.  Since my diagnosis, just shy of 4 years ago, there has been changes in diagnosis and treatment. As much as I hate to say it, cancer treatment is in some respects still very much a guessing ame.  Should the big C diagnosis come your way it is important that you hang tough and stay strong...that is what will get you through to where you need to be.  I wish I could give you different advice, but you can and must be your own best advocate.  Do your research, ask others who have walked the walk, assemble your team of health care providers (remember you are hiring them), make well informed decisions and do what is right for you and your loved ones.  Everything else will fall into place....either as you wanted it to, or as it should be, for reasons beyond our understanding, but "it" will happen either way. You decide, you can either hang on tight and help steer the cart or you can just sit there along for the ride.  Regardless of where you end up, even if the cart doesn't go where you wanted it to, you will know that you did what you could to get it to the location you were hoping for...and that is in my opinion more important.....Happy Fall Ya'll

Down The Hatch

Ok, finally had that endoscopy that the medical community has been insisting on. Found that I do have inflammation in my esophagus, stomach and duodenum, and a hiatel hernia, but all of my biopsies are negative for cancer. That is a good thing. I am on some medication and hopefully all of the "itises" will dissipate over the next couple of months. Now, next month it's off to the gynecologist for his evaluation and then I do believe that there will not be one single solitary orifice left on, near or around my body that hasn't been evaluated!...So between the "itises"and seeing all of the people whose titles end in "ologist," I think Shel Silverstein sums up this whole situation best...;

SICK (A poem by Shel Silverstein)

I cannot go to school today,”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox,
And there’s one more - - that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue –
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke –
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose I cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have hangnail, and my heart is – what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is … Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play.

September 2011 Check Up

Boring, boring, boring! Thankfully that pretty much sums up my last 3 month check up. Blood work - check! Physical exam - check! Good for 3 more months - check! I don't have to go back until after Thanksgiving...yeah!

My favorite nurse Natalie was back working in oncology though and I was so glad to see her. She left the clinic to go work on the floor and followed her heart back to our oncology clinic which is best for her and the patients....she laughs more than any other person I have ever met.

I also met a couple of really nice ladies this time. One lady was significantly older than me and the other one was somewhere between the two of us. We talked about good books we have read and ones we should read and we silently wondered how each other was doing in their fight against cancer, but we didn't ask. Instead we silently drew our own conclusions. It's funny how oncology patients can pretty well figure out where another oncology patients is in their journey by their appearance and their actions....do they have a port? do they have hair? if they have hair how long is it? what color is it? have they had a pedicure? are they eating and drinking? did they bring a "day bag" or just a book? There are all kinds of "signs" that we notice and think to ourself, "Yeah, they are past chemo and have been for a while and they look healthy and seem optimistic!" You watch for them during subsequent appointments and some people you see regularly and others you never see again...and instead you see new people with the "deer in the headlight look" and long, healthy hair on their heads and you know that they are the newbies.......and so the journey continues......
"The best way out is always through."..............Robert Frost

July 2011

It will soon be 2 years since my last chemo treatment...July 13th to be exact. Hard to believe really. It doesn't seem that long ago....my oncologist suggested that I give a drug called Arimidex a try. I took my first dose on the 6th of April. It has to be taken for 5 years and is suppose to help prevent re-occurrence of my cancer. My check ups have been good and I continue to see my oncologist every 3 months. I do have to have an endoscopy soon, just as a preventative measure, but that is it. My reconstructive surgery is finished and I was very lucky to have an excellent reconstructive surgeon, Dr. Lester Yen at the Iowa Clinic. My care, from the beginning with Dr. Haas and Dr. Ortell, has been outstanding....and believe me, there is no greater critic of our health care system than this old nurse...so as I often do I want to leave you with a thought and a request...first the thought (and this is one of my favorites), "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God can not protect you."...and now my request, prayer for Sadie Randall's dad and family. Early tests indicate that there is a mass, or masses, in Paul's lung(s) and in his brain. They are testing to determine if there is malignancy. Sadie is a good friend of Molly's and was planning to spend the 4th of July with us at the Lake of the Ozarks. Please hold Paul and Sadie in your prayers so that they too will know that God has not and will not desert them during these dark days and that his grace his there for them. I know that many of you who read this also know Sadie....no one is exempt from tragedy and I personally know how important your prayers and support are...thank you.

Nearing The End

I had another appointment today at Dr. Yen's office. My check up was fine and so the "final touches"....no literally, the final touches were added...I had my tattoo's today! Never in a million years did I think I would see a plastic surgeon OR have a tattoo, but now I have two of them! All I have to say is OUCH!!!!! You have to be kidding that anyone would do this procedure without any medical reason. I am amazed at how UNCOMFORTABLE this is. I don't go back to Dr. Yen for about 8 weeks and then I wait for about 3 months and then we will decide if I need a "touch up" or if everything is acceptable. Boy, has breast reconstructive surgery come a long way! I have my next oncology appointment on 3/2/11 with routine blood work and a chest x-ray along with a physical exam. On January 14, 2011 it had been two years since my diagnosis. I remember that my goal was to be completely finished with everything in one year, I know now why that goal was completely unrealistic. I do have to say that I have been very happy with each of my physicians, and I knowing all that I know now, from a patients' point of view, I really don't think I would do any of it differently.

" A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion."
Chinese Proverb

Status Quo!

My last check up was good and doesn't show any sign of reoccurrence at this time. My bone scan this past summer was clear as was my chest xray. I have another chest xray in February and then they will figure out my future schedule. It will be 2 years this coming January that I was first diagnosed through a routine mammogram, just a reminder to all of you procrastinating on the procedure. We continue to approach life slightly different from most normal people but it works for us. This weekend we have been surrounded by family and friends and have created many memories....lucky us. Thanks for your continued support, prayers, and well wishes.

A Year Past Chemo ...

It has been more than a year since my last chemo treatment and yet it seems like it has been longer than that. The bone scan I just recently had came back clear other than a little bit of arthritis in my chest and spine...I go back again at the end of October for my next check up. I see Dr. Yen on the 20th for my next check up and to schedule my next phase of reconstructive surgery. So far so good with things....people ask me if I'm "cured" or if I'm in "remission." I will tell you what I have been told; today the health care professionals tend to not use phrases like "in remission" or "cured" with breast cancer patients and they don't give a magic time frame of when you can relax about it not showing up again...they keep a close watch so that if anything does come up it can be treated quickly and hopefully effectively. Until then I will see my doctor on a regular basis so they can keep an eye out for anything that seems out of the ordinary. I will post again after my October visit.....thanks again for the continued prayers and support.

Check Up's Tip Top

I had check ups this past week with both my oncologist and my reconstructive surgeon. Both went well. My blood work is great as well as my physical exams. I go back to both of them again in August. The only blood work I haven't gotten back yet is my Vitamin D level. The new information is that there seems to be a correlation between women who have breast cancer and low levels of Vitamin D...not sure how much of a correlation but enough that they are now looking at our vitamin D levels and putting us on a supplement if it is low. I should get those results later this week or next. They tossed around the idea again of whether I would benefit enough from the Tamoxifen to outweigh the risks (blood clots, uterine cancer) and they still feel that I would not. They asked me what I thought and if I really wanted to try the Tamoxifen and I told them that I am comfortable not using the drug at this time. Since I had the double mastectomy I do not have to have mammograms but I will have routine chest xrays to check for anything that might pop up. No routine MRI's or scans at this time. They ask if you have had any changes in anything....new aches, pains, itches, bumps, sore throats, colds, cough (which I have all the time), changes in body functions, etc. I can see how things slip through the cracks because it's hard to remember everything over the past 3 months all of which can be such a part of your normal aging process!
Dr. Yen told me that in the past month or so he has had several women who have gone to visit with him and told him that I referred them. I remain confident in his ability and I am pleased with him as a person and as a physician. I tried to get a kickback or once again a free tummy tuck but no luck so far.
We did the Race For The Cure on Saturday and about froze our tails off! Thank you to everybody that showed up on my behalf! I'm amazed that I have so many cheerleaders that have hung in there over the past 16 months. You are the best! The shirts this year were very nice, but the Survivor shirts were great! It was one of the best shirts you never want to own!
I am ready for nice weather! We have a bunch of graduations and weddings this spring to enjoy and I am hopeful the weather will cooperate.
After the race we headed down to the lake. Mol had to work this weekend so we took off to get a few things done there. She was exhausted by the time Sunday afternoon rolled around. She cut lose with some of her new earnings though and gave me a "Mother/Daughter pedicure outing for Mothers Day. Thanks to all of my other "kids" for the text messages and for thinking of me on Mothers Day. I am blessed to have so many great young people in my life. I know you all know it is a challenging day and it is nice to know you are thinking of me.
Well that is about all I have right now. Everybody take care and don't forget to do that monthly breast exam!

No News Is Good News

Just a line to keep everyone updated. I don't have to see a physician until the first week of May which is a welcome relief. It takes a lot of time running from Ottumwa to Iowa City to Des Moines, etc. Recovery from this last surgery seems to be quick and I am quickly getting back to normal (as normal as is possible). I probably won't have any additional surgeries until this fall since it is up to me when those happen . I don't want to miss out on summer this year like I did last year.

Now on the subject of hair...yes I now have hair...it is curly and I just had a few inches trimmed off the back....it does what it wants to most days but I have a new philosophy of "A bad hair day is better than a no hair day!!! (original quote by yours' truly). Actually, I spend so little time messing with it I am looking for a style that requires the 30 seconds or less that I've become accustom to.

Actually life is pretty status quo right now which is not all bad. We are looking forward to our time at the lake and sunshine and warm weather.

Thanks again to everyone that has continued to follow me along this latest life challenge...I think this quote from Dr. Seuss sums you guys up....God Bless!



"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." — Dr. Seuss

Check Up On Monday

We are back from our Hawaii trip and what a shock to the system! It's much nicer to wake up to birds singing and palm trees rustling in the breeze versus snow plows barreling down your road. But as always its good to back to your own bed.

I have a check up on Monday with Dr. Yen. It has been 3 weeks since I have had to see a doctor and it has been nice. It has been over a year since I was diagnosed and I have been in a doctor's office somewhere every week since then. It's been a nice break. According to Yen I have to wait for about 4 months or so before my final surgery's begin so I will probably just wait until next fall so that I can enjoy the summer and the water without restrictions.

My oncology check up on the 8th of February went well. All of my blood work was good and apparently my chest x-ray came back ok because they haven't called me to tell me otherwise. I told them that if there was something there NOT to call me in Hawaii. No reason to spoil an otherwise great vacation.

Mol was able to get her class requirements completed ahead of time so she joined us for about 5 days in Kauai. This was her first time flying alone and she did a great job. I must admit that I was sure she would end up in China or somewhere else, but she did fine. Not only on the way over, but we were on different flights on the way back and we were about 2 hours into our flight when the pilot announced we were turning around and being diverted to Honolulu due to mechanical problems and when we finally landed there was a message from Mol that her flight never left Kauai because of mechanical problems and she was being taken to a hotel by the airlines for the night! So not only did she fly alone, she stayed in a luxury hotel on Kauai alone and then flew out the next night. We finally met up at the Des Moines airport about 24 hours later than planned, but she performed well under pressure when put to the test by the airlines!

Well, the plan from here on out is to remain under surveillance by the oncologists which requires a visit to them every 3 months, continued visits to Dr Yen the plastic surgeon and every 6 month visits to Dr. Ortell. In addition to that I have to fit Dr. Haas in there as well as my primary care physician. So for at least the next 5 years or so, I will continue to spend a great deal of time with doctors. This makes them think they can catch something early if it does pop up again. So hopefully things will stay boring and there won't be much to report. I must say that my hair has grown back pretty quick and although it is curly and unruly much of the time, I still say that a bad hair day is better than a no hair day anytime.

One last note, I met a gal on Kauai who was diagnosed with breast cancer just a short time ago. She and her husband was going around to different businesses and sharing all of her medical reports and asking for donations to help her with her expenses. I asked her if they have insurance and they do, but they have about $13,000.00 in unpaid medical bills and they need money for transportation and lodging to another island for her care. Couple of scary things about her progress, she had already had a mastectomy, she had never seen an oncologist yet, she had however seen a plastic surgeon for reconstruction, she had never heard of the Susan Komen Foundation or the American Cancer Society and had seen the "pink ribbon" on things but didn't know how it came to be or why it was there, and she had just been told about the Relay for Life in the last couple of days. Needless to say I shared contact information with her and encouraged her to call these organizations for guidance. I guess my reason for sharing this story is threefold: First, I am grateful to live in an area where medical care and community education is very attainable and competent, Second, that we should never take for granted that everybody knows about organizations and foundations that can help them in a time of need and you need to take every chance you have to share information with others and never assume that someone knows something that is so "everyday" to us and third, that I am grateful that I have never had to sit on a street corner and ask every stranger passing by, "Would you donate to help my wife who has breast cancer?", while offering to share copies of her medical reports." We wondered if we would ever be humble enough to do just that and we are grateful that this has been one challenge we haven't had to meet (yet).

It is always Just 1 More Thing....

Post Op..AGAIN

Well another surgery under my belt...or is that under my chest...whichever, it is done. My implants are in place and I did get to come home last night. Dr. Yen explained to Neal just where the leak was located and it was in a completely different place than the other leak was. Nobody has an explanation since I am the only patient they have had that has had 2 expanders leak on the same side, but Dr. Yen has a staff meeting among his peers and once again I get to be the topic of conversation. I'm beginning to think I fell from another planet!

So far, recovery hasn't been too terrible. I'm pretty sleepy because of the pain meds, but I'm really doing pretty well if I do say so myself!

Looking back, it has been a fast year. I was diagnosed on the 16th of January 2009, had my mastectomy on January 28th and my second surgery for my lymph node removal on February 18th, 2009. A year later and I'm still having surgeries! Just can't get enough I guess. HA!

Once again, thank you to all of my family and friends for the support, thoughts and prayers, cards, and food. One of the things I have been blessed with is great family and friends.

Thank you friends and I will leave you with this great quote!

" A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
Walter Winchell

Next Surgery Fast Approaching

It is Sunday night and Wednesday morning will be here before I know it. People have asked me why my expander is leaking again and believe me I have no idea. I did a little research on the type of expander I have and I do know that the latest statistics I could find were from 2006 through 2008. There were just 10 reports of problems with this company, 5 from this particular brand and 5 from another brand they make. That is a total of 10 problems in 2 years and since I have had 2 leaking expanders in just 2 months I too am very curious to hear what they find this time.
Oh, well. It is that damn black cloud that follows me around I guess. I will try to put a post on Wednesday nite, but depending on the drugs in my system it may be later than that. Thanks for the thoughts, prayers and well wishes. I'll truly just be glad when this is all over!

I Can't Believe It!

I had another appointment today at Dr. Yen's for an expansion on my left side. Last week was suppose to be my final expansion appointment, but I was still smaller on my right side so he thought we should do another fill. He assurred me that this was quite normal and not a problem. I told him it was probably just my paranoia, but that my right side just felt "softer" and I was concerned that I had another leak. He assurred me that everything was fine and that it wasn't unusual to have to have more fluid in one side than another. We did my fill and I was on my way home.
Well, I had another visit today and again I was concerned that the right side still "felt different" from the left side. He asked what I thought, I told him, he took a look and then I saw it in his face ...the look of "you have got to be kidding me, crap, no way, this never happens, could it be that there is another leak?" So he doubled the amount of fluid and had me wait and I am here to tell you it's true! Only I could have faulty equipment TWICE!
Well we mulled over the "what we knows" and the "what we don't knows" and after much discussion (and a near miss meltdown by ME), we came up with this plan...I'm done with expanders...I am scheduled to have my implants put in on Wednesday the 27th. It isn't the optimal or usual way, but HEY....why would I start being normal now. Needless to say I am going to do a little investigation of these expanders and see what the deal is. I am the first one to accept (and support) the fact that CRAP happens and man/woman made items are not going to be perfect, but come on... two of them in one person just months apart? I'm really beginning to wonder.....but anyway, that next big surgery is scheduled for the 27th of January and then we will be recuperating in Kauai come February 8th.....wish me luck and I truly do thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers.........just imagine what would happen to me if I didn't have those!

I had another visit to Dr. Yen on Monday for another "expansion." This last expansion was very painful so I am finished with the expansion of the left breast! Since I had to have the right expander replaced I need to have 3 more expansions of the right breast to get "even upped!" I hope that after that I won't have to be in some doctor's office every week.
It is hard to believe that it will soon be a year ago that all of this started but it will be.
I went to see my oncologist in November and it seemed a little strange to be on this side of the fence. After all, I have hair now so that tells everyone that my chemo has been completed and that I am "lucky." It's strange how I seem to divide the patients up into the different groups. There are the 'newbies" and the "in the thick of it" and the "been there done that" people and the "don't think I can do this anymore" look. So even though we all have a cancer diagnosis each and every person is unique in their own struggle....and believe it or not, sometimes their fight against cancer is the least of their worries!
A friend said to me the other day that she just doesn't know how I have stayed so positive through everything. I guess partly it is because I have seen what happens when anger and bitterness takes over and decided that I didn't want to live like that. It is a choice for me and one that I often have to remind myself of. I don't always succeed in this philosophy, but I try.
A couple of weekends ago we were at the confirmation of our grandaughter, Hunter, and the Bishop was talking to the kids about living their faith and how each of them, some more than others, will be asked to bear different crosses in life. He explained that the crosses you bear aren't usually a choice, but how you carry that cross is. He ended with a sentence that I like a lot so I will do the same and leave you with his words of wisdom and hope you find them as true as I do..."What doesn't make you bitter will make you better."

With much love and appreciation,
Merry Christmas!

Oncology Check Up Today

I had a check up at the Cancer Clinic in Iowa City today with Dr. Thomas. Everything checked out just fine other than I am slightly anemic, but since I had surgery just 2 weeks ago she wasn't alarmed about that. I go back in February for my next check up. I visited with her about the proposed recommendation of not having routine mammograms until age 50...no surprise that she was absolutely not supportive of this idea. So girls, listen to your doctors, the American Cancer Society and the Komen Foundation and get those routine mammograms as recommended. I go back to Dr. Yen tomorrow (if I could stay out of doctor offices I could get something done!) for my 2 week check up from my last surgery. It seems like it has been so much longer ago than that but it was on the 18th of November. I guess since Neal won't give me any sick pay and I've pretty much maintained my regular schedule it just seems longer. Hopefully he will let me have an expansion tomorrow so we can get back on the road to completion. I will keep you posted on that visit. Until tomorrow...nite....and thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.

Out With The Old and In With The New!

I have my new expander in place and hopefully that won't happen again. Dr. Yen told Neal that there was a tiny pinpoint hole in the upper right corner of the expander. Apparently a defect of some kind. I tried to talk him into giving me a lipsosuction job for free since I had to undergo another surgery, but he just laughed and I still have all of my "lipo" so I guess not. I don't go back to him for about 2 weeks and we will have to play the rest by ear since I'm not sure how far this set me back. I'm guessing it will be about 5 to 6 weeks. That's all the information I have right now. I'm in the basement with the dog and Neal is working upstairs to make sure I don't do anything I'm not suppose to. To all of you who have been and continue to be there with us on this bumpy road, a most sincere thank you and in the words of Jackie Gleason, "You're The Greatest!"

"When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal;
you do not change your decision to get there." ......Zig Ziglar

That's What I Get For Bragging!

I have told everyone who has asked that I had just one "big" surgery left so that of course has come back to bite me in the butt! I had my 5th fill of my expanders last Monday on the 9th. A few days later I started to think that "something" was wrong. By Friday night I was sure that my "new right breast" was shrinking so I asked the expert, Neal. He said he definitely could notice a difference and by Monday it was undeniable.

I called Dr. Yen's office and he wanted to see me directly so we went to Des Moines. Sure enough I was right. I apparently have developed a leak of some kind (a few rare occurrence of course) so guess what...I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow, Wednesday, the 18th. This definitely puts a kink in my schedule! Unfortunately the need to go back to surgery affects more than just replacing the expander. Since I will have another new incision, they won't be able to fill the expander as full as it has been so that will set me back on my expansion which will set me back on being finished, which will of course sets me back for my waiting time for my final implants. Like I said, that's what I get for bragging!

So if you read this and you have any hopes or prayers for me just focus them towards my reaction with the anesthesia. The pain of the surgery I can handle just fine, but my reaction to the anesthesia is what usually kicks my butt! Oh, well, chin up and one foot forward (as soon as I get my feet to stop going backward) but without the bragging!

Moving Ahead....

So far, so good. I have had 3 "expansions" or "fills" since my surgery. Dr. Yen says that every thing looks just as it is suppose to and we are moving ahead just as we should be. I will continue to go back to Dr. Yen every week until I have finished my fills and then it will be just a matter of waiting. I go back to my oncologist in November for a check up and to make sure that there isn't any reoccurrence. My hair has started to grow back and even though it is still really short, it is hair. I am still pretty restricted in my activity which is frustrating, but I am able to do more each day. Dr Yen encourages patience, which if you know me very well you know that is not one of my best traits. Remember, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month so be sure to do your Self Breast Exams and get those mammograms. I will try to keep my blog updated without boring everyone to pieces....until my next entry I will just "keep on keepin on"....one day at a time.....

Post Op Day 9...Back To The Dr. Tomorrow

Tomorrow I go back to Dr. Yen and HOPEFULLY he will take these drain tubes out! They are driving me nuts...So far this surgery has been somewhat of a challenge...I think it just gets more frustrating because I'm sick of being sick...I don't know if Dr. Yen will add any additional saline tomorrow or not, I guess we will wait and see. I will also know my appointment schedule better after tomorrow. Complain, complain, complain....ok, I'm done now....I do have a couple of little "bumps" on my chest so that is good....
Just a reminder to everyone...I am also the recipient of the gift from a donor...I received a donor transplant of skin, tissue and muscle last week that was necessary for the reconstructive surgery. I have the opportunity to write to my donor's family thanking them and their loved one for this gift. Please never discount the importance and the far reaching aspects of becoming a donor. I am truly grateful that someone was selfless so that I could benefit and regain some physical normalcy....I'll keep you posted...

Whew...Glad Yesterday Is Over!

Well I must say that I am certainly glad yesterday is over. The worst part of the surgery for me is the anesthesia and true to form I didn't handle it well at all. The nausea was horrible and the poor anesthetist gave me 4 different meds trying to keep it to a minimum, Unfortunately for me only time works. The doctor has been in and he said I get to go home today so in a little while, after my IV antibiotic is finished, and after all of the other discharge stuff is done, we hope to be on our way home. They offered to let me stay in this brand new beautiful facility another day, but I said no thanks....brand new it is too, they have only been open for business for 10 days. Well, that is about all for now. It takes a lot more muscle to type than I thought it would so I'm going to have to type just a little at a time. Thanks for all the prayers, visits, phone calls and text messages. There certainly is strength in numbers.....

Another Step Forward...

Tomorrow is fast approaching and since I will probably be feeling "not so hot" tomorrow I thought I would post a little bit of info tonite. Tomorrow I have surgery about 8 am at the brand new Mercy West Lakes Hospital in West Des Moines. I am assuming that they have checked out all of the "important" entities such as the oxygen lines and the electrical and they are ready to have patients. Dr. Lester Yen is my surgeon and he will place my expanders tomorrow. These expanders are designed to do just as they sound, expand. They will be filled with saline, a little bit at a time, over a period of several months. They are designed to stretch the skin which prepares me for the implants. I guess this will be another learning experience but I do know this, my surgery is suppose to start between 8 and 8:30 tomorrow morning. It will last around 4 hours and I should get to come home Saturday or Sunday, but I'm going to try for tomorrow night. Neal will have his phone but they will make me shut mine off so he will need to be the communicator...if you want to text, text Molly because it will take Neal about an hour to get you texted back at his wpm speed. Otherwise, watch the blog and we will try to keep you updated (if you have nothing bet ter to fill your time). Thanks for keeping tabs on me and for following along. I'm not going to say we are on the home stretch because I don't want to "jinx" myself, but hopefully things will go smoothly and I'll be home soon.

I think this quote provides me with a "visual" about what this cancer journey has been...

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain

Can you believe it is September tomorrow? I myself think we were cheated out of summer! Neal and I will be taking our "annual" fall trip again in a few days. We are going over to Chicago with Molly, Chris and Kelly for a few days on the 11th and then on the 13th Neal and I are heading south...not sure how far, just south. We will be around somewhere close on Zach's birthday (the 8th) so we can have dinner with Molly and then I have a Dr.'s appointment that I have to have before my surgery the morning of the 9th. We will be back either on the 16th or 17th since I have to be in Des Moines early on the 18th for my surgery (yuck!). Anyway, as much as I dread the surgery part I am ready to move on to the next step. I am planning on coming home from the hospital on the 19th, worse case scenario on the 20th. Back to moving slow, uncomfortable bandages and drains hanging off of my body. It won't be pretty, but at least it will be done. Lisa, I may take you up on that offer to feed Neal and William, I may need a little nip of that Templeton Rye! Take care everybody, and again thank you for all the prayers and positive thoughts. Girls, remember, tomorrow is the first of the month so remember to do your breast exams!

Signing off with this little quip.............You know what they say,

"There is a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train!

Next Phase....

"The storm starts, when the drops start dropping. When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping." — Dr. Seuss

I think that pretty much sums up the way the challenges in life go isn't it?

I saw the oncologist on Wednesday the 19th and everything looked good which means that I don't have to go back until November. She did say that the chemo effects sometimes takes a couple of years to go away and for some they never go away...fortunately most of my effects have diminished and I'm hopeful that the rest will do the same soon. For those of you who haven't seen me lately my hair has started to grow back but it is hard to tell what the end color result will be...right now it is a mix of salt and pepper....that's probably what it REALLY was before I quit coloring it!

My reconstructive surgery is scheduled for September 18th at Mercy Hospital in Des Moines. This will be the first of 3 surgeries which will take somewhere between 9 and 12 months according to the docs....There are a number of restrictions after the surgery for a couple of weeks including NOT being able to lift my arms up any higher than my shoulders. I told the doctor that it all makes sense now! That's the reason you lose your hair because you can't raise your arms to wash or fix it! I'm really not looking forward to the whole surgery thing again (ugh!) but ....onward and upward!

We moved Mol to the dorms today. Moving Molly looked similar to moving the girl of Legally Blonde to the dorm with all of the pink stuff. She and Hannah have a really nice room and the move went pretty smooth....they have a few days before classes start and there are so many great activities to participate in that I'm thinking about signing up for college again! Right now it really doesn't seem strange because she hasn't been out of the house for even one night. I am sure it will set in before long....probably when Neal and I realize that we only have each other to talk to!

I guess that is about all I have right now. Thanks to everyone who has continued to follow this blog and my cancer journey.

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" — Dr. Seuss

Thank You....

There are a couple of "Thank You's" that I need to take care of...one is to my niece Kristi, who walked in the Relay For Life in Des Moines this last month...she raised a good deal of money for her walk and walked in my honor. A big THANKS to her and her husband Brian for thinking of me...Secondly to Wendi Bitner...Wendi walked 60 MILES (whew!!!) in the Breast Cancer 3 Day benefit Susan G Komen for the Cure in Chicago and she did so in my honor...once again, a very big and SINCERE thank you for thinking of me....it really is very humbling.... kind of ironic isn't it? Me, who hates to exercise, has forced so many people to get up and move...

Reconstruction Here I Come!!!

OK..Neal and I have been to 3 different plastic surgeons. It's funny...I never thought I would ever see a plastic surgeon.... Now we have to decide who we are happiest with. I actually have 2 different surgeries scheduled, but I will be cancelling one of them. They are both scheduled for mid September so that looks like what it will be. I am finding that my schedule expectations are not the same as theirs. They seem to think I am being unrealistic with my "completely finished by December 31st" plan. I encouraged them to rethink it, without any success I might add. Actually, one of them actually said that if I find a surgeon that tells me that is possible, I had better run out of the office fast! I am discovering that there are many different options to this reconstructive thing, and some are much more difficult and involved than others. Using my own fat and tissue apparently is not the best option for me. In addition to the fact that the surgery would be 8 to 10 hours and the hospital stay would be around 5 to 7 days, the surgeons, who are either VERY kind or blind, are concerned that I don't have enough FAT for a double reconstruction (HA!) so it looks like it will be expanders followed by implants. Although the process is difficult to explain there is a website that does a good job of it (thank you Patty) so if you go to http://www.myselftogetheragain.org/process.htm it will give you a very visual idea of what I am talking about...(if you are squimish don't go to the website). I guess this whole process takes anywhere from 9 to 12 months....depending on lots of things. (I knew I'd get stuck paying another deductible..oh well, at least I get to still make my own health care decisions right now!) I will make my final decision on a surgeon by Monday or Tuesday which will put my surgery at either the 15th or the 18th of September.
On August 19th I go back to see my oncologist and then after that I hope to go just every 3 months. Also, I do have a little bit of hair growing back and so far it looks to be either white or very blonde! (Kriss, I might finally get to be a blonde!) Like Neal said, "What does it matter? Once it's in you can make it any color you want."
I'll close for now...but just a little FYI...that thing about how cancer doesn't discriminate, well it has followed me to the plastic surgeons office. Yes, there are women there (didn't see any men) purely for personal appearance reasons, but there isn't any shortage of babies and children there because of birth defects and injuries. Once again, "There but by the grace of God, go I."....
My ending "poem" for today is simple, yet true...
"The evergreen reminds us that through all the seasons and in spite of adversity and change, life prevails and hope grows forever new."

Final Treatment Completed!!!!

My 8th and final treatment was completed on Monday, July 13th! Of course it ended up being the longest day we had up there...Murphy's Law you know. The Chemo Nurses presented me with my "Graduation" certificate and sent me out the door about 6 PM that night. This week has been a little rough... same old pains and fatigue, but I swear Dr. Thomas beefed up the dose because my side effects have been a little more pronounced with this treatment....doesn't really matter because I'm finished with them! I have set up three consultation appointments with three different plastic surgeons. The appointments are at the end of July and during the first week of August. I'm hoping that I really like one of these guys so I can go ahead and get my surgery scheduled. If not, on to the next doc's on the list. I only want to have to have these next two surgeries just one time, so I'm approaching with caution.
I can't say enough good about how our treatment has been at the U of I. Dr. Alex Thomas has been fantastic as has her side kick and right hand woman, Natalie, RN. The chemo nurses have been great and we have literally no complaints. I shared with them my little "quip" that I use with our "parents group" and told them that they too are "some of the nicest people I wish I had never met!"
I go back to the U of I in 5 weeks, and then after that I see them approximately every 3 months for about 3 years. Then I should get to stretch it out to every 6 months. They will monitor me and the pro-active plan is that if anything does come up and appears suspicious, they will be right on top of it. No guarantees, as with anything.
Everyone has been terrific during this latest "life learning opportunity," but I have to give a great big thank you to 4 of my most faithful fans.... Pat Swanson, Cindy Donohue, Kelly F Gravett and Molly....when we arrived home on Monday night we were greeted with tons of pink flags all the way down both sides of the drive way and up and down both sides of Bladensburg Road, PLUS, pink ribbon down the fence, pink ribbon around the trees, mailbox,and porch lights AND posters with affectionate and encouraging words. Then on the inside of the house Mol and Kelly had placed and decorated with more ribbon, posters, ballons, and a pink rose. Needless to say it was very nice and I am once again humbled by the thoughtfuless. You will need to ask Cindy about doing the military crawl up to the house though...picture that!
I want to say that facing this latest "red sea" would not have been possible without the love and support of my family and friends. Each time the Yates' have been asked to face a mountain, we have always had tons of people there to lift us up to help us peek over the huge barrier to get a glimpse of the other side. There are many, many people in life that never experience that. We are truly blessed and rich beyond measure. Thank you.
As usual, I have a little "poem" I want to leave you with. As all of you know, I have never been short on words, and the other day when one of Neal's business associates told me that the "chemo hasn't lessened my spunk" I responded that it has only exacerbated it because now I might have less time to say everything then I had before! So with that said, enjoy this little poem that I acquired before Zach was born and have read it almost every day.......

Lesson
They said, "you'll never make it,"
And they thought that they were right,
But I kept on plodding onward,
Because I hoped I might.
And they shook their heads in wonder,
That I lacked the sense to quit,
But I held my chin up higher,
And I didn't mind a bit.

They said, "you'll never make it,"
As the problems multiplied,
But I had to make an effort,
And to know at least I tried,
So I dug my heals in deeper
Though sometimes my spirits lagged,
And I shouldered what was lightest,
And the rest I sort of dragged.

And I found to my amazement,
At the ending of the day,
That what they said I couldn't,
I had managed anyway.
It only took three little words,
"LORD, HELP ME," and I rid
Myself of doubt, and all they said
I'd never do ..... I DID

Grace E. Easley

Number 9 Done...Only 1 More To Go!

Chemo treatment #9 is over and I am anxious to get the final one out of the way. I am trying not to be to optimistic about the last treatment just in case some obstacle arises and there is a delay. There shouldn't be, but you just never know. My final treatment is still scheduled for July 13th. I offered to move it up a week to the 6th, but Dr. Thomas just wasn't cooperative with my plan. Something about it not being good for my health....like injecting poison in my veins every other week is??? This past treatment was designed to help teach me patience. Some of the strangest people were in the chemo suites this time. One of my "suite mates" was an older man that spoke very loud and expressed controversial views about every race other than white. Now keep in mind that these "recliners" are about 4 to 5 feet away from each other and you are in this room anywhere from 3 to 6 hours. Patience...that was my lesson I was to learn this week. Not sure I did, but I will continue to work on it... This gentleman, I am sure, is loved by others and is experiencing the same emotions as any other cancer patient...maybe my life lesson was more of seeing beyond the obvious...maybe it's as St. Exupery says..."It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." Maybe we should all see more with our hearts than our eyes....but then again, I remember when Zach was only about 3 and I came home from working all day at Indian Hills. I was busy fixing supper and getting on with what I thought was the important things...as Zach chattered, and we all know he was related to his mother and could talk a blue streak....I kept on doing my meaningless tasks in the kitchen...it took this 3 year old to set me straight....with a hard tug on my arm he said..."Mama, listen to me." "I am," I replied. "No Mama," he insisted, "Listen to me with your eyes!" So you see even though my mind was somewhat engaged, my heart was not and he knew that...he knew that if my eyes were not looking at his, then my heart was not there either....so maybe we should listen more with our eyes and see more with our hearts and the remainder of our body and soul will follow....
Thanks for sticking with me through all of this ...although I may not always show it with my heart, my eyes or my patience...I am truly grateful and humbled by the outpouring of support....May God Bles All of You as He Has Me...

Just Two More To Go!!!

I had my second infusion of the Paclitaxol on Monday the 15th which leaves me with two treatments to go. I'm trying not to get too excited just in case things don't pan out exactly as I have them scheduled. After my 1st infusion of the Paclitaxol I experienced some strange bone/muscle flu-like symptoms that lasted about a week. They started on the Wednesday night after my infusion on Monday so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it won't be a repeat tonite. As I talked about early on, my type of cancer is a little screwy....figures.... they refer to me as "triple negative," yet I am not a TRUE triple negative...triple negative is when you don't have any hormone receptors on your malignancy, which makes the cancer a little tougher to treat....I am HER2 negative (first negative factor), but I am Estrogen positive 5% and Progestin positive 5%.....which keeps me from being a true "triple negative," but they don't think I have enough hormone receptors to get more benefit than risk with Tamoxifen. Tamoxifen is a drug that is give to women to take for 5 years after their chemo when they are HORMONE POSITIVE....I'm not hormone positive enough...so therefore they believe that my risks in taking the drug would outway the benefits....so probably no Tamoxifen. What this really boils down to is that hopefully, the chemo treatments have irradicated the malignacy because it is basically all we have to treat with at this time. Of course, having the double mastectomy helps too. Right now there isn't any reason to believe that the cancer has gone any place else. I will continue to see Dr. Thomas for quite awhile after my last chemo treatment. I will go back for a 2 week follow up and then I will see her every 3 months until who knows....I go back to see Dr. Ortell on the 9th of July and then I will start visiting with the reconstructive surgery docs. (By the way, the University is quite impressed with Dr. Ortell...let's hope they don't try to steal him away!) As Dr. Thomas put's it "there isn't any guarantee's, but based on all of my history, labs, pathology, etc. they believe that I will do very well and I have as great of chance as getting hit by a MAC truck as I do dying from breast cancer....plus you know what I say "only the good die young so I am going to live to be the oldest woman in Iowa! I do have one complaint, I'm still not thin...oh well, just my luck!

Well, that's about all I know...I do know that I talked with a beautiful young woman this past weekend from around our area that was diagnosed just 3 weeks ago and she is scared. She hasn't had any surgeries or chemo's yet so her journey is just beginning. She has very young children and a lot on her heart and her mind. I can't share her name at this time, but would all of you please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers. I wonder if the look in her eyes is how I looked 5 months ago....the crazier thing is that everyday people are asked to face everyday challenges, everyday....please remember this when you are having a bad hair day (better than a NO HAIR DAY)...somethings just aren't worth the worry....you know me I can't shut up without leaving you with a quote...well, maybe more of a thought or philosophy...I have misplaced the exact item and the name of the person to whom credit belongs, but I want to post it and I will continue to hunt for the "real thing." It goes something like this...

Have You Been Asked To Face Your Red Sea?
As Moses stood in front of the Red Sea (along with a ton of people depending on him), with an entire army close behind he knew he couldn't go around it, he couldn't turn back, he couldn't dig his way out and he couldn't climb over...he had no choice but to go through it...probably one of the scariest things there is to do...sometimes you don't have a choice...you have to go through it and know that what God has promised will be waiting on the other side....

I hope all of your "Red Seas" are small....

Continuing to be grateful for the prayers, thoughts and friendships....

The Yates

Only 3 Treatments Left!

I had treatment #5 yesterday so I am over the "hump." Dr. Thomas even went ahead and scheduled my last 3 treatments in the computer so there is light at the end of the tunnel. We also talked about my reconstructive surgery and according to her I can start visiting with physicians in July and schedule my surgeries anytime after August! I would really like to be completely done by the end of 2009. Guess we will see if this all works out! So far no problems with nausea. This drug is suppose to be less likely to cause that...I guess I will wait and see about the aches and pains that are more likely...they describe it as like serious flu symptoms and can be such that not getting out of bed isn't unusual. Hope that isn't the case for me. Between that and the Neulastin I will be in a pickle. My white count this time was good....my red count was low but was high enough for chemo...guess that is why I have been a little more tired. Yesterday must have been the day for the 20 something patients...there were a lot of young women wearing scarfs and getting treatment...saw one young man, Brandon, who was waiting on treatment....people with names like Brandon shouldn't be old enough to receive chemo....in my opinion. My infusion this time took much longer...it will be between 3-4 hours just for the infusion. We were still home just before 4pm eventhough we had our appointment at 7:30 am. I guess that is about it for now.

Now from the wisdom of a 10 year old boy named, Benjamin Nassau,
"Being sick just stinks!"

Gearing Up For Treatment #5

The next chemo treatment is scheduled for Monday, June 1st. We have our 7:30 am time slot back so hopefully the day won't be quite so long. This treatment is a milestone for us....first, my "DONE" column will be bigger than my "TO DO" column and it is a new and different drug. The risk of having an "anaphylactic reaction" is greater with this drug so they do approach it a little differently. They start the administration very slow and they sit and monitor your reaction for about the first 30 minutes. If there is any sign of a reaction, (which usually begins with tingling in the mouth and throat area or difficulty breathing), they stop the drug, administer medication to counter act the chemo drug, wait and start again. This process works for almost everyone and it is a very tiny percentage of people that can't actually receive this chemo which is called Taxol. Also with this drug the risk of the severe nausea and vomiting is much less but the trade off is that the major side effect is severe bone and body aches and pains which usually occurs around day 7 to 10 after chemo....guess we will see what happens. Regardless, I will be more than half way done and I am thrilled about that!

A HUGE thank you to Kelly, Pat and everybody who supported "Lori's Fan Club" team at the Race for the Cure....we took 3rd place for the largest team.....not bad for the first year! More important than that was the outward and visible support that all of you provided for us...we are some of the luckiest people in the world!

As most of you know Molly graduated this past weekend. We had her party on the 16th and we had a wonderful time and a wonderful turn out. She received so many neat gifts that it makes me want to go back and live in the dorm! It is hard to believe that she is 18 years old...She is lifeguarding at the Country Club this summer and continues to work at the Knights of Columbus on Fridays. She will start IHCC in August.


I have also decided to close the scrapbooking store....it has been a wonderful thing but it is very time demanding and I need to put my energies into the glass company and our multi family housing business. There is a couple of people that are interested in re-opening it...I will know more in a few weeks.

Thanks to everybody for their prayers and continued support. I'm not very good at being "sick" so I am really hoping and praying that I will get a "pass" on the body aches and pains this next round....regardless, I have been very fortunate so far so I can't complain. Since my next treatment is Monday and Neal and I have had a committment every weekend now for months, this Saturday we are taking off for Des Moines for the day. I promised him he could go to the horse races Saturday night. It's a fairly cheap night considering he only bets $2 on a race for about 10 races...it will be nice just not having to do something....
With that I thought this poem, from one of America's favorite poets, Shel Silverstein sums it up...


So Sick

'I cannot go to school today, '
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
'I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more-that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut-my eyes are blue-
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke-
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is-what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is...Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play! '

Shel Silverstein

Half Way Done!!!

I had my 4th treatment on Monday, the 18th. Basically my check up went fine. My labs were ok and I received my last treatment of the Adriamyacin and Cytoxin. I am starting to develope a few more of the "chemo" looks...my fingernails are turning dark, a little swelling in my feet and hands, but still I am very lucky. This visit took much longer. The University has implemented a new computer system called EPIC and it has been a nightmare. Needless to say my lab orders got lost and so we arrived at 9:10 am and we left there about 4:45 pm. It was my longest day yet but, it wasn't any fault of the nursing staff or the medical staff. My next treatment is on June 1st and it will be the first time for my new drug. There is a greater risk of anaphylactic shock with this one so it goes a little slower at first and is watched a little closer. Same with the second time. But all of this means it is closer to the end.
We had a visit from Kathy Weiss while we were waiting. Many of you will remember when the Weiss's lived here in Ottumwa. We had a nice talk. It was nice of her to stop by and share her prayer and words of encouragment. Once again there wasn't any shortage of patients.
We had Molly's graduation party on Saturday and we were very pleased with the turn out. It worked out really well to have it at the country club. The club did a wonderful job with both food and service so a big Thank you to them.
Well, I think that is about it for now....this is just day two so my thoughts are still pretty sluggish. I will write again soon. Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers. They are working.

Treatment #3 DONE!

Sorry this is such a late entry. The month of May has been so busy and it isn't even close to be over yet. I had my third treatment on Wednesday, April 29th. The "after effects" were about the same as the second treatment which was much better than the first treatment....fatigue, neck ache, headache...but still no nausea and vomiting. Once again, I have been so very blessed when it comes to those two side effects. I know there are many others who are so terribly ill and some who even have to stop the treatments because they are so sick.
During my last treatment my nephew Tony and his wife Stacey stopped by to see us. This time Cindy and William came by to see us. Of course Cindy provided entertainment for the staff. The one observation that everyone makes is that it is unbelievable how many people are there receiving chemo. It is rather un-nerving.
The next treatment will be the last of the first 4 and that is significant because then we switch drugs. Dr. Alex tells us that generally the first 4 treatments are the roughest for 90% of the patients and the 2nd course of 4 treatments are much easier. I'm hoping she is right and that I'm not one of the 10% who have a rougher time with the 2nd 4 treatments. My hope is that with the second 4 treatments they will wonder if they are giving me water instead of chemo! (Is that too optimisitic?) Well, I guess we will see in a few weeks. My 1st treatment of round 2 should be June 1st.
It seems that with each visit I notice something different...it's probably because the patient population is so diverse...but this time I seemed to focus on that fact that there were an awful lot of people there alone.....young, old, men, women....elderly people in wheel chairs waiting for chemo and had to rely on hospital staff to push them because they wasn't any family or friends, young people sitting in the waiting room alone, and a significant number of both men and women in correctional facility orange accompanied only by a sheriff's deputy.....when I mentioned it to Neal he did remind me that there was a reason they were wearing orange and logically I know that ..... but I thought how terrible it would be to go through something like that and have nobody there with you and then to go to a nursing home or correctional facility instead of your home..... ironically, last week (the week before my treatment on the 29th) at Mass, one of the prayers was for the lonely....so once again I go with divine intervention over coincidence.....thank you for your continued prayers and support....I know it is making a difference in my treatments.

Day By Day

Thankfully the side effects of this chemo treatment have been a little less challenging than the first round. I haven't had the discomfort from the Neulasta that I had the first time so that has been a good thing. I have started shedding though so it won't be long before my head is smooth but it is a temporary condition and it will shorten my "getting ready" time. I took advantage of the beautiful weather today and enjoyed the sun and warmth. We are just trying to keep to our day to day business which includes getting ready for Molly's graduation. We needed some motivation to change things up around here since it will soon be 15 years since we have moved into our house (unbelievable!). Austin (Neal's cousin) has been doing a lot of outside work for me and I am thankful for that. Cindy D and Pat S took off all my wallpaper in the kitchen and WOW what a difference. Sister Kathy came and helped and we are now ready to paint. (Think I can keep working this sympathy factor til my whole house is done???) Kidding aside, I am truly thankful and blessed by the people in my life....nobody has better family and friends than me... I guess that it is it for now...again many thanks for the prayers....this will be over before we know it!

Chemo #2 Down and 6 To Go

Well we are certainly learng our way around the U of I system now. We are home and have pretty much been asleep every since we got in the car. I am just a little queezy to my stomach, but I was last time too. Hopefully, the drugs will keep working and just put me back to sleep. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that grape popsicle....I never eat grape I only eat red popsicles...ok red popsicles or nothing from now on.....I'm suppose to be trying to drink about 10 or 12 32 oz glasses of water everyday, especially the first three days so that keeps me pretty full.....

It was another busy day on the 4th floor Oncology Unit. Lots of young men and women and lots of people that the staff new by name. Your relationship with them doesn't end after your chemo ends I understand. They like to see you regularly, just to make sure your hair is really going to come back.....I bet the staff has a "pool " going on patients hair return....what month, what date, straigt, curlly....then of course you have to go back every week so they can determine who wins the pool. Dr. Thomas very sweetly and compassionately wanted to remind me that this round is most likely going to be the one that causese my hair loss.....she always looks so apoloogetic when she gives you nasty information, I told her that I was going to try hard to be a patient in the 0.000001 % that keeps their hair. She smiled and told me that would be wonderful because she has lots of patients with alopecia (hair loss) and she could use a few more patients in the other catagory to boost up those statistics. Guess we'll see....then I happened to mention that I am the person whosse luck hasnt't held up so great the last 5 1/2 years so neither of us should get our hopes to high.

Well, I guess that is it for now, there are words and sentences in this blog that doesn't make senxe or is hard to read which is why drug use should be discouraged amongst computer using adults, teens, and children.....ok....discouraged at all times in kids and teens....

Cindy D. call me in the morning...don't worry about the time I can do whatever,, not true, I can't drive and i can only walk with assistance, but hey what's the differencde between that a wild Friday night!

Thanks everygvody....I'll proof read this after drugs on thursday and correct all the mistakes, but I wanted to get the latest out.

I hope everyone had a happy Easter. Easter is a special time of year for me personally .... for a couple of reasons.....first, because God chose his only son to die early in life and in a violent way because He knew He would be safe and with Him in His heavenly kingdom and none of the pain and suffering would follow him through the gates.....Because of this I have faith that he loved my son just as his own and Zach received the same graces of mercy and love that Jesus had and that he too is rejoicing in his eternal life in a perfect world.........secondly, the most important event in christianity (at least for catholics) is the event of the resurrection. The birth of Jesus is certainly important, but the resurrection of our messiah is strictly christian. Good overcomes evil. Life overcomes Death! The resurrction gives us the hope and the promise of life aftere we leave here....we don't fully understand the hows, the whens or the whys, but we have the promise, God's promise, and that is more than good enough for me. I hope for each of you God's grace, hope, peace, and mercy during this Easter Season......I know our loved ones that have gone before us are enjoying a magnificent Easter Celebration!

"For God So Loved The World He Gave His Only Begotten Son So Whosoever Shall Believe In Him Will Not Perish, But Will Have Everlasting Life. (John 3:16)

Waiting For Chemo

We are waiting for my 2nd round of chemo to start. Labs are good except my platelets are low (132 and they like them to be no lower than 150) so they will keep an eye on that (bleed easily and don't stop without platelelts). We adjusted the schedule a little in anticipation of Molly's graduation party. I won't get my 3rd round of chemo until Wednesday, April 29th and I have to be there at 9:30 for my labs then I see Dr. Thomas at 10:00 am and then I go to the chemo suite after that and then I don't go again until May 18th. This is an early one...I have to be there at 7:30 am for labs, then Dr. Thomas at 8:00 and then chemo after that. Once I get into the chemo suites, nothing is done on a schedule....it just becomes about what each patient needs and where they are in their treatments.....and patience is needed and given all the way around. After I have my treatment on May 18th I will be half way done! Yeah!!! Well they called my name so I'm off to the chemo suite. I'll write more later.

Sorry For The Delay....

I am really sorry it has taken so long for me to get this entry on the blog. I have been out of commission in a couple of ways.....First our wireless internet took a little jolt of electricity on Thursday and our internet has been down and when I felt good enough on Thursday to update the blog we didn't have any service....plus I had my first chemo treatment on Monday, the 30th and was pretty much out of it on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

The drugs were worth every bit of the price I paid. I didn't have any nausea or vomiting, but I was pretty loopy and very tired! I haven't been to bed before 8:30 pm since I was in kindergarten, until last week. A big thank you to Cindy and Pat for taking me (physically) to Pings for soup on Tuesday....I hear we had a good time.... On Thursday night I developed a headache that kept me awake most of the night and so after calling Dr. Thomas on Friday they started me on antibiotics for a sinus infection. I sort of went down hill from there and was pretty miserable on Friday and Saturday. After each of my chemo treatments I receive an injection of Neulasta (sp?), which is suppose to stimulate my bone marrow to make red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets. One of the major side effects of the drug is bone pain which also started on Thursday. I had a lot of discomfort in my neck and back because of that. I was pretty much back to my old self on Saturday night except for some low grade discomfort.

I went back to Iowa City on Monday, April 6th, for my blood work up and we discovered that my white blood cells (the ones that fight off colds, flu, etc.) were very low. The normal levels should be somewhere between 5.0 and 10.0 and mine was at 1.6. They were 5.4 before chemo on the 30th so I am now identified as a chemo patient that is going to have problems with neutropenia (low white blood count). They think that my count was probably below 1.0 when I felt so bad on Thursday and Friday and they had actually increased to 1.6 and were on their way back up towards normal. As long as they are at or higher than 1.0 next Monday then I will still be able to get chemo #2. They also get a little concerned about people like me being in public, crowds, etc. because the immune system is close to non-existent....so they would like for me to stay home, but in my own medical opinion that would not be good for my ATTITUDE so I am doing my best to stay away from sick people...(my idea not theirs). Anyway...I now have 1 treatment down and just 7 to go (yeah!!!!!!!) and I am greatful that I did not spend 3 days with my head in the toilet! The prayers are working so I will take any and all you can send up my way...

One positive is that I did drop a few pounds last week since nothing tasted good other than popsicles...thank you Sharron for the balloons and the Ensure...I am going to need those this next time around I am sure! And thank you Joni for the beautiful little singing bear....and the continued cards and well wishes.... I am truly blessed to have so many wonderful, loving, giving people in my life!

In closing here are a few things that an old health care provider has found out since being on the other side of the bed!...

• You can only receive so much of specific chemo drugs over your entire life time....when I am finished I will be at the 50% mark for these 3 drugs
• Chemo stays in and accumulates in your body and the level increases with each treatment therefore the side effects may also increase.
• Oncology nurses are some of the happiest people I have ever met even though they start each day knowing that there will be some people they help to save and others they tried to save.
• That no matter how bad off we think we have it that every time we go to U of I we always witness people who are worse off than we are...the people with no feet...
• That there are way too many cancer patients, the morning I started I was one of 11 new ones that morning.
• That cancer does not discriminate...young, old, rich, poor, cute, homely, tall, short, fat, skinny.....not one single person is exempt.

Just 1 more thing...Neal's 50th birthday was on Monday, April 6th, and he spent it with me at the University...when you see him wish him a happy birthday...I am a lucky woman...

Signing off for now..with a greatful heart, flat chest and little smaller butt....

Tomorrow .... It Begins

Well the first day of chemotherapy is almost here. I've been asked a lot of questions about how this whole process works and after tomorrow I should have better answers. I know that it isn't something that works on a perfect schedule and that a lot of things happen because other things happened or didn't happen the way they were suppose to happen!!!! If that makes any sense at all......... anyway....I am ready to get started so that I can get finished.

We are greatful that we were able to have our spring breakWe had a wonderful time in Cancun. The residents of Cancun asked that we tell everyone that Cancun is safe and that they want Americans to come and experience their beautiful city. We certainly didn't notice any difference but it has certainly impacted the area. The number of tourists is much lower.

Well, that is it for now... my appointment in Iowa City is at 8:45 a.m and they said that I will be there for the day. I will update the blog just as soon as I can. I am planning on everything going well and am hoping for minimal side effects, but if I do experience major side effects I will be glad that I have one treatment down and only 7 more treatments to go....besides with all of the prayers and positive thoughts on my behalf I know it would have been much worse without them...so we will take the next step with determination and faith...

1 Peter 1: 6-9
This is a great joy to you, even though for a short time yet you must bear all sorts of trials;
7 so that the worth of your faith, more valuable than gold, which is perishable even if it has been tested by fire, may be proved -- to your praise and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.
8 You have not seen him, yet you love him; and still without seeing him you believe in him and so are already filled with a joy so glorious that it cannot be described; 9 and you are sure of the goal of your faith, that is, the salvation of your souls.